Bajirao Mastani

Bajirao Mastani: 

After the two disappointing films viz Ramleela and Sanwariya from Sanjay Leela Bhansali, I was more than intrigued by the thematic choice of his next historical drama, Bajirao Mastani. The genre is always difficult, as so many things can go wrong, but Sanjay Leela Bhansali seems to have done more rights than wrongs in this film! 

The story is a slice of the period where the Peshwas' clout was on the ascendency, the edifice of the Mughal empire was crumbling and the John Company was expanding the concessions it had already obtained. To catch the flavours of this complex period in Indian history would have been tough, but with great finesse, SLB got it right! 

The film is about the warrior hero and lover Peshwa Bajirao. The earthy, enigmatic soldier, who is a virtual live-wire, comes across as an entirely intriguing, mesmerising and loveable character. He fights his wars with passion, he loves his wife, who he also respects as a friend, with greater passion and falls for the charming prize catch from Bundelkhand, Mastani, with fervour even he hadn't experienced before. His vulnerabilities are exploited fully by SLB as he's pitted against all those he loves in the battle to accord respectability to Mastani! 

For a period drama, the costumes, the sets, the idiom, the nuanced cultural details are important and they all fall in place, virtually from the word GO! As a typical SLB film it is aesthetically sublime! The Art direction, the colour palette, the music just transport you back in history. You seem to be witnessing the unfolding of life in a Royal Brahminical order first hand. With the right Marathi accents, the movie is assuredly authentic in its flavours! 

Three characters stand out in the movie and they are Ranvir Singh, Priyanka Chopra and Tanvi Azmi....and in that order. If ever a star was born to rule Bollywood by getting under the skin of the character that he happens to portray, it is Ranvir Singh! As Bajirao he does full justice to the role! The guy has incredible energy, enjoys what he is doing and lives upto the role assigned to him, whether it is in terms of the Warrior's physique, or his emotions or the portrayal of a tough negotiator with the kingdoms he demolishes, his spunk,his charm, in every which way, he is par excellence! At the cost of repetition I would say, he was born to rule Bollywood! 

PC is the surprise element here! With Deepika playing Mastani, I didn't think PC would have any scope to do much in the movie! But it's PC, playing the loving wife Kashi, who steals your heart! Whether it is as a seductress or as an innocent daughter-in-law, who jumps into the lap of her mother-in-law, or as a grieving reject, she does it with aplomb. Tanvi Azmi, the white wearing, tonsured, widowed mother of Bajirao is impressive in the various matriarchal roles she is forced to play as the Brahmin mother of an errant son out to bring a Muslim girl into the sanctified interiors of the palace! 

Deepika as Mastani, looks beautiful, has enormously expressive eyes but is overshadowed by PC and RS. What ever happened to her? Where is the intensity of her romance? I Couldn't help conjuring up images of Aishwarya playing Mastani! That would have been something. 

The battle scenes are impressive and the music is great. Wish a bit of the length had been sacrificed, to weed out the superfluous elements and make it a true classic! Certainly SLB could have omitted the trade mark, face-off dance between the wife and the other-woman! 

The Movie belongs to RS and see it for him. Kindly note, till before this movie I wasn't a fan of RS! Also for PC, as she lends immense credibility in the role of a rejected wife! 

Certainly deserves a 4 on 5 as a package!

Dilwale

Dilwale: 

After a week of weathering allergic cough and cold ( courtesy Delhi Pollution), finally hit the cinemas. The idea was to see Bajirao Mastani , but despite 10 days having lapsed since its release, decent tickets were still not available! So we settled for Dilwale, much against my gut feeling that this wasn't going to be a good way to resume my love affair with Hindi cinema! 

How right was my gut feeling? After 20 minutes we were squirming restlessly in our seats, wondering whether the interval had been dispensed with! But no, it hadn't; the movie was a difficult burden to carry on the shoulders of a fading star like Shahrukh and a super slim Kajol ( in fact, I think she was slimmer here than in DDLJ)! The story revolves around two sets of siblings Shahrukh and Varun Dhawan as Bhais and Kajol and who's-that-girl, as Bahens! Well it adds spice to the story that they belong to two rival Mafia families, who after tasting the reckless life of crime and bullets in Bulgaria, choose to return to india to start a Motor Garage and restraunt business respectively. The romance of the elder siblings was the collateral damage in the rivalries between the two families, but hey, the younger ones can't suffer the same fate! Or something to that effect! 

Well, considering that there are two love stories unfolding here in the backdrop of crime and vendettas, and a bit of comedy thrown in, which fails to tickle you in most parts, I found the handling of the romance most unconvincing! Somewhere, Bollywood seems to be loosing its grip on developing romantic relationships between lead pairs! It moves too fast and you are left wondering " yeh pyaar kab aura kyun hua"? 

The music was good, but besides two good numbers, they seemed intrusive and slowed down the narrative. The romantic sequence between SRK and Kajol, "rang de tu mohe Gerua", seems hummable but was picturised in locations that seemed hugely VFXed! BTW, what does it mean, rang de Gerua? Isn't Gerua the colour of Intolerant India, SRK? 

A word about Kajol, before I conclude! She looked over made up, with her Fair and Lovely skin! I thought she was much more likeable when she was comfortable with her skin tone! Not anymore! So far as acting goes, she couldn't make up her mind whether to assume the bubbly tones of a. Punjabi girl a-la K3G, or a more refined NRI! She had been brilliant in Gupt, two decades back, as the muderer on the prowl! But the few occasions to enact the negative side in Dilwale, are wasted by Kajol! Pity that! 

Anyway, the movie refused to entertain. I haven't looked at my Whatsapp messages in a cinema hall as much as I did during the screening of this one! Or surfed the net to find out what the duration of the movie was! In other words, if you haven't got it by now, it was difficult to sit through this one from Rohit Shetty! Better luck, next time!

PREM RATAN DHAN PAYO

Prem Ratan Dhan Payo: 

This was one movie I was not inclined to watch! It released during the Diwali season which coincided with the Flu season and I was one of its victims! So I kept procrastinating a visit to the multiplex! Also, It had a Star cast which ranged from my very favourite Salman Khan to the very artificial Sonam Kapoor, whom I openly dislike! So I decided to give the movie a miss! But such was the popular pressure for my review that I found myself hitting the Bookmyshow.com button this morning. 

The movie is about good vs evil, family bonds, loyalty, treachery, the power of forgiveness and romantic love- all glazed in Barjatya style sweetness! It is set in some princely state where one still has the Yuvrajas and their coronation ceremonies! Well why not? It's a fantasy world, after all, Bollywood movies! And if you can have the CMs of modern India celebrating their Birthdays and Swearings-in in such lavish styles, ( this is also the political season, you see! ) then surely Rajshri films is allowed to recreate the days of monarchs and coronations for the viewers' vicarious pleasures! Not to forget the fairy Princess. Also don't forget we have already lapped up the Hollywood versions like Princess Diaries and what have you, so I really had no problem with this make-believe, another era, princely state and the plot moving around its various characters and events. Maybe my Rajasthan background makes these themes sound credible to me! 

So, while the Crown prince, Vijay, who is apparently haughty and stubborn, is planning his coronation and wedding his brother is plotting his elimination, not to say anything about the sulking and angry estranged half-sisters! His buggy rides off the cliff as per the plot hatched by his bro, Ajay, but he's rescued by some faithfuls! With the entire global royalty expected for the event, The Crown Prince lies in a secret chamber, unknown to the conspirators, recuperating from Cerebral Concussion and Cerebral oedema, informs the doctor! In walks this Ramleela artist from Ayodhya, Prem Dilwale who is a spitting image of the Yuvraj and is the obvious choice as his substitute to keep the show going for the next 4 days! It falls upon the affable Prem to don the mantle of the Prince, literally and metaphorically, and iron out all the creases in the various frayed relationships, including the one with his betrothed! 

What happens thereafter has to be seen, if you care for the Rajshri brand of films, even though this is not from the same stable as their cult films like HAHK, HSSH, etc! I found the first half very engaging and the movie on the whole quite enjoyable in a strange kind of way, even though the second half just dragged on and on! But then so many other Bollywood movies suffer from the same flaw because of their continuing fixation with the three hour slot! 12 -3, 3-6, 6-9, 9-12 shows from the days of yore! 

Make no mistake, this movie rides on the shoulders of Salman and Salman alone. Every time I see him on screen I impishly pat myself on the back for keeping my faith in his acting prowess! Wow, who else can portray a haughty prince and a village Ramleela buffoon so effortlessly and credibly in the same shot? Even when Prem is enacting the role of the Prince, the Ramleela style seeps in, making the whole act look so real and true to life! There is humour in the little scenes with Anupam Kher and for once I didn't mind Sonam Kapoor! She looks the part of the Princess and manages to exhibit a certain grace! She is an ornamental piece in the movie and no flaws therein! Just don't expect her to emote! Some of the romance between her and Salman hints at good chemistry, not withstanding the 20 odd years that separate them! Oh yes there's Neil Nitin Mukesh as the villainous brother, but when did Strawberry Pastry succeed in generating fear and awe????

The locations are riveting, but then ........it's princely Rajasthan in most parts! Some of the stuff like the mirror palace over the water fall is quite OTT, but when you are talking Royalty you can be forgiven some excesses! The colour palette used by the art director is eye catching and adds to the visual attraction of the movie! 

Conquering my dilemma of whether to go for the ever enthralling Salman or avoid it because of the female lead, Sonam Kapoor, I finally went to see the movie entirely because of the youthful and ageless charm of Salman. I was not disappointed! It is not in the same league as Bajrangi Bhaijaan, but this new avatar of Salman, PRDP ( oh I so love these acronyms) would get a 3. But then, admittedly I am partial to Salman.........

Talvar

Talvar: 

A movie I didn't want to watch and thought would be hard to sit through, given the poignancy of the traumatic story; a narrative which we had seen unfold in our living rooms not so long ago; the hangmen/women masquerading as news readers, conducting a trial of their own and forcing the society to stand divided on the question of the culpability of the parents of the killed teenager! A family one could easily identify with! They were our kind of people, Doctors, for heaven's sake , not some unidentifiable Richie rich, Page 3 variety or "those types", the stereotypical slum dwellers! How would it be to once again, live through those terrible months after the killing of the beautiful young teenager?  Why should one subject oneself to a chilling experience of déjà vu? All these questions troubled me, but see the movie I did! Finally! 

 How does one make a movie about a murder, the micro details of which are present in public memory so vividly? How to retain viewer interest in a murder mystery which is not your regular whodunnit and has already been adjudicated upon and sentence pronounced by the trial court? That must have been a challenge but it certainly did not turn out to be a handicap!  

This is a tale told as it is! It is not a fictionalised version of a true story! Three different perspectives are presented with equal finesse. It is realistic story telling at its best and both the script writer and the Director succeed in presenting a perfectly balanced story, with almost equal emphasis on different versions of the truth! One can argue that Truth is Absolute and there can be no versions of it, but it is about story telling and letting each side emerge clearly! So you have the parents being declared guilty by the media, then by the UP police, and simultaneously by the society! " Boyfriends to hum sabke hote hain, but an old man and that too a servant? Disgusting!" , declared one sassy  teenager before a mike  thrust in her face by a vigilante reporter,  pronouncing the young victim guilty! And earning her own moment of fame! 

The portrayal of UP police is funny in a macabre sense! Almost comical, if it weren't tragic in its implications and consequences.The CDI tries to bring an element of scientific investigation but personalities and loyalties clash and there is further botching up of the case! The investigation  goes flip flop from Talwars Not Guilty to Not Enough Evidence to Prosecute them! Irrfan,  as this dashing, bold and independent  CDI officer makes the most basic observation: kisi bhi case me 3 stages hoti  hain 1) Khoj 2) saboot aur phir 3) saza! Par is case me sab ulta  hua, Pehle saza huyi, phir saboot......! How often have we lamented about this flawed sequencing? 

The movie also presents the servants' perspective very judiciously. It also throws sufficient light on the many incomplete lines of investigation and loose threads or over reliance on flimsy stuff in the case. As far as the craft of film making is concerned, credit must be given to the makers for carving out the core elements of the saga, cleverly leaving out the trash generated during the actual unfolding of the mystery! The sensitivities and sensibilities of intruding into the private lives of people, whose lives have anyways been torn asunder, are maintained painstakingly. So much so that watching the movie turned out to be  less traumatic than the tragedy itself and my fears lay allayed. I found myself appreciating Irrfan and the entire cast of the movie, in particular Konkana as Dr Nutan Talwar and the guys who played police officers of different ranks and cadres! Superb portrayal! 

At the end of the movie, one could conclude that the balance of argument lay in favour of the Talwars' innocence but as an intelligent movie goer you can decide which side you are on! It's all open to taking sides--unabashedly! Isn't that the basic flaw in this case and several others? We are all impressionable human beings and watching biased, prejudiced, one sided, gossip based constructs on TV might, at the subconscious level, influence our judgment!! The movie is yet another narrative constructed to demystify reality and help us draw our own conclusions! Successfully! 

Definitely worth a watch......

Kis kisko pyaar karun.... Kapil sharma debuts as a big screen hero

Finally found time to see Kis Kis ko Pyaar Karun! What can I say about this movie? I mean it's a peppy, fast moving and stupid movie, but turns out to be funny in most parts. It's Kapil Sharma's debut as a hero and his brand of humour is stamped across the movie. It is easy on the tongue, without the need to shout or scream, indulge in inane innuendoes, or cut dirty jokes or resort to toilet humour! Still There's plenty of humour, great situations eliciting whole hearted laughs from you,  and typical one liners to keep you engrossed through the movie! Like most comedies it mocks your intelligence quotient but is high on the laughter quotient.

So, the plot is quirky; this Good Samaritan guy, in the habit of rescuing damsels in distress ends up  marrying virtually all of them! He is obviously very rich as he maintains three plush apartments in amchi Mumbai, while carrying on an interesting cat and mouse game with the plethora of women in his life! As if his cup wasn't full, he also has a girl friend, who he loves and plans to marry, but whose father thinks he's the fiancé of a girl in his office! Complicated? Wait, there's a Mafia don of a brother-in-law who wants desperately to "hear" the "good news" in his sister's life, even though he is deaf as a doorknob. Mujhe hadson ne pyar diya , par pyar me hadsa na ho jaye, laments the poetic Kapil! 

In a sense it is a cleverly made Abbas Mastan movie! Realising that humour, based on multiple wives runs the risk of becoming monotonous, two new characters are introduced in the second half, who bring in their own element of comedy. Supriya Pathak is endearing as Kapil's mother but the wives have nothing to write home about. The music is good even though the lyrics are crazy, " Bacche shukrawar ko ghar  nahin ayein ' or something akin to that, and the mother in me shrieked, No Way! ! 

Actually the one big disappointment in the movie is Kapil! Well, his acting is fine, he seems confident, so much so that one forgets, it's his first movie! All that is in place; he disappoints in his appearance! He has bags under the eyes, looks tired, not at all fresh and has a flabby face, double chin or whatever ! I thought he looked really stale, not good for a first film!! Must be all the running around from the TV Studio to the film locations! 

The final verdict? Comedy nights with  Kapil or Kapil on the big screen? Give me the former any day! 

Hero-forget it

With nothing better planned for Sunday evening, I finally hit the cinemas after a hiatus of nearly 8 weeks! Thought I will check out the new kids on the block, even though they happen to be star kids and one of whom actually had a beleaguered introduction to the public not so long ago! 

The movie started well enough. The  opening scenes introduced the well sculpted body of the male protagonist- muscles, sinews and the workout regime, combined with the predictable pub crawling swish set, their escapades and brawls. Thematically, it promised to be close to the original Hero, Stockholm Syndrome intact.  But, just when you thought, mid way through the  first half, that the movie was shaping up well, it just collapsed! 

So the IG's daughter is kidnapped and taken to some absolutely fantastic, breathtakingly serene and eye catching white locations in the Himalayas. The bandits, who she foolishly believes to be armed guards for her protection, look after her so well that she falls in love with their leader-Sooraj, all muscles and V shaped body but with the vulnerable soft looks of Zarina! Why she falls for him, what are the things he does that capture her romantic imagination, is all left unexplained! But for this, Hero can't be faulted alone! It's this millennial generation! No explanations, no touching-the-heart, evolution of the love; just one fine day, you declare that you are in love! 

So they return to civilisation after a gun battle, court room drama etc, with the girl being sent off to Paris to do her dance degree, while the Boy serves out his prison sentence. He is released before time for good conduct( oh please, get original!) and goes about proving his reformed persona by starting a Gym and you heave a sigh of relief that the movie is getting over! But no there's a triangle which had been thought of and probably shot for an earlier insertion in the plot, but which the Editor failed to edit at the appropriate time! So virtually at the end, this character is brought in, The Prince of Rajasthan ( hello, Rajasthan had a 100 thikanas and all of them could individually boast of their Princes!!!) . He symbolises and epitomises VICE, in capital letters. I don't know what happens after that, for its an incoherent, fumbling, boring plot, with a sloppiness seen rarely, but after a lot of dhishum dhishum the movie ends! 

Such a relief at the end of the movie! It is a poor poor substandard attempt at cloning the original Hero! Where is the Meenakshi Shashadri or Jackie Shroff style magnetism in this pair? The boy Pancholi is good and holds promise of a better future. The music is OK but seemed really obtrusive, with songs butting in to disrupt the flow of the story, which was weak in any case. " lovely ki train ki chain pull kara de, aur uska Jab We Met kara de". Really, what amazing lyrics! 

Oh I forgot to mention The Heroine of Hero! Never mind, she is entirely forgettable! She is a fairer version of her father Sunil Shetty and I almost expected her to drawl in his baritone! Better she does ramp walking at Milan, for F TV, where wearing a dead pan expression is an essential qualification! 

Comedy Nights and Colors

Only Kapil can save Comedy Nights! Salman khan guffawing a million tonnes of hysterical laughs can not create comedy, nor parade as humour where none exists! It's almost like Archana Puran Singh laughing like an idiot in previous Avatars of Comedy. And mind you, I am a Salman fan, yet I am saying this! He is so unconvincing in Comedy Nights Bachao, which is a damp squib, that it will do nothing to divert viewership from Comedy Nights with Kapil! . 

No matter how much Colours connives with Salman, Krishna and Bharti to evict Kapil, he has a certain natural connect with the audience, while the parallel/cannibalising show is too contrived!

The spoof by Kapil on CNB and the art n craft of duplication was hilarious and generated some genuine amusement! BTW, Navjot Singh Sidhu's laughter didn't seem so bad after all! Effect of Salman forcing himself to laugh like Archana Puran Singh on CNB!!!!

Bajrangi Bhaijan

Bajrangi Bhaijan: Salman khan

The fun of enjoying a Desi movie in Vides----great! The fun of watching Desis crowd into a 20 screen multiplex to watch a Bollywood biggie over and above 19 Hollywood blockbusters----fantastic! The fun of watching Salman Khan defining humanity as the supreme religion----unparalleled! Bajrangi Bhaijan proved all the more fulfilling as I watched it in far away California! And before my friends accuse and remind me of my strong Salman Khan bias, let me admit unabashedly, that he has given me a reason, all over again, to continue to hold him in higher esteem than many of his peers from Mumbai!
So, Bajrangi Bhaijan is the story of a mute girl from Pakistan who is separated from her parents while in India and how the God fearing, Good Samaritan Pawan Kumar Chaturvedi alias Bajrangi sets about ensuring her reunion with her family. The little girl, alternately named Munni, is the most loveable and heart wrenchingly innocent kid and pivotal character around whom the story is woven! She is the heroine while Kareena Kapoor is the highly dispensable element in the movie! She emotes with her eyes and each time her mouth quivers or her eyes moisten up in memory of chicken tikka or Shahid Afridi, you feel a lump in your throat! The film has used humour and created comic situations most befittingly to unfurl the story and characterisation. Whether it is the manner in which the realisation about her cast/religion/country of origin dawns upon Salman or his escapade across the border from under the barbed wire fencing, humour has been used with great craft and finesse! So much so that despite a serious theme, the movie never weighs upon you. Stereotypes of cast, religion, nationality have been handled so naturally and effortlessly, that you accept them as they unfold, without squirming in your seats, unflinching in your belief about their credibility.
At one point I thought that Salman was going to succeed in carrying Munni and the movie on his shoulders, till the final destination. But I hadn't bargained for Nawazuddin, the maverick, small town reporter in Pakistan, who finds his genius in the unfolding drama and quietly creates a huge place for himself in the movie! The journey across some of the most picturesque settings in Kashmir makes you yearn for more! The reunion between Munni and her mother contributes towards the high degree of pathos in the film. But the political fallout of Salman's escapade into Pakistan, which, by the way, he entered only after "permission", leaves much to be desired! The climax is all too predictable but I can't imagine it ending any other way!
Great script and direction, credible performances by Salman, Munni and Nawazuddiin, make the film a serious, thought provoking experience! Does your Faith provide you with courage and kindness of such magnitude? Does Religion have any value before Humanitarian values? Is one the synonym of the other? What are geographical boundaries and political ambitions in the face of humanity? In the end, All the elements that matter in the sub-continent find a place in the movie; cast, religion, nationality, cricket, border policing and its infringements, lost child so reminiscent of partition, Kashmir, Gandhi, Jinnah, espionage et al! The movie was meant to succeed!
As my niece put it: humanity is best depicted in the innocence and mute suffering of a child and that fantasy has always been cleverly deployed by Bollywood to raise regional socio-cultural-political issues! But rarely so well!
Salman your sins of Kick, forgiven and forgotten!

Hero, zero

Hero:
With nothing better planned for Sunday evening, I finally hit the cinemas after a hiatus of nearly 8 weeks! Thought I would check out the new kids on the block, even though they happened to be star kids and one of whom actually had a beleaguered introduction to the public, not so long ago!
The movie started well enough. The opening scenes introduced the well sculpted body of the male protagonist- muscles, sinews and the workout regime, combined with the predictable pub crawling swish set, their escapades and brawls. Thematically, it promised to be close to the original Hero, Stockholm Syndrome intact. But, just when you thought, mid way through the first half, that the movie was shaping up well, it just collapsed!
So the IG's daughter is kidnapped and taken to some absolutely fantastic, breathtakingly serene and eye catching white locations in the Himalayas. The bandits, who she foolishly believes to be armed guards deputed for her protection, look after her so well that she falls in love with their leader-Sooraj, all muscles and V shaped body but with the vulnerable soft looks of Zarina! Why she falls for him, what are the things he does that capture her romantic imagination, is all left unexplained! But for this, Hero can't be faulted alone! It's this millennial generation! No explanations, no touching-the-heart, evolution of the love; just one fine day, you declare that you are in love!
So they return to civilisation after a gun battle, court room drama etc, with the girl being sent off to Paris to do her dance degree, while the Boy serves out his prison sentence. He is released before time for good conduct ( oh please, get original!) and goes about proving his reformed persona by starting a Gym and you heave a sigh of relief that the movie is getting over! But no there's a triangle which had been thought of and probably shot for an earlier insertion in the plot, but which the Editor forgot to include at the appropriate time! So virtually at the end, this character is brought in, The Prince of Rajasthan ( hello, Rajasthan had a 100 thikanas and all of them could individually boast of their Princes!!!) . He symbolises and epitomises VICE, in capital letters. I don't know what happens after that, for its an incoherent, fumbling, boring plot, with a sloppiness seen very seldom! After a lot of dhishum dhishum the movie ends!
Such a relief at the end of the movie! It is a poor poor substandard attempt at cloning the original Hero! Where is the Meenakshi Shashadri or Jackie Shroff style magnetism in this pair? Tigmanshu Dhulia fails to impress the way Shammi Kapoor did! The boy Pancholi is good and holds promise of a better future. The music is OK but seemed really obtrusive, with songs butting in to disrupt the flow of the story, which was weak in any case. " lovely ki train ki chain pull kara de, aur uska Jab We Met kara de". Really, what amazing lyrics!
Oh I forgot to mention The Heroine of Hero! Never mind, she is entirely forgettable! She is a fairer version of her father Sunil Shetty and I almost expected her to drawl in his baritone! Better she does ramp walking at Milan, for F TV, where wearing a dead pan expression is an essential qualification!
Watch it at your peril!

Neelkamal's Musings: Whats Good, stays Good

Neelkamal's Musings: Whats Good, stays Good:           Whats Good, stays Good A young, bright and smart acquaintance, who just chucked a good corporate job because of continuous b...

Whats Good, stays Good

          Whats Good, stays Good

A young, bright and smart acquaintance, who just chucked a good corporate job because of continuous blocking by her team leader, sought my opinion some months back on levels of difficulty faced by her in letting her ideas germinate in her company. I had no analysis to give her, other than the usual gender stuff, and the conversation ended with some inane homilies. But a chance forward on a social networking site, had the eureka effect on me! People want to talk evil of you or expose what's wrong with you, because they can't handle what's good about you. Wow, didn't that explain a lot of inter personal situations at the work place, including that of my young friend? Human behaviour is complex even in the simplest of situations, not to say anything when it's put in a cauldron of complex circumstances. All constructive and creative suggestions are brushed aside and ignored by peers, colleagues or seniors primarily because of the fear that you might get acclaim for it. Such behaviour stems from their own inadequacies and insecurities..

I rang up my young friend. Don't lose sleep over it, I told her and don't get embittered that your ideas are routinely rubbished. Don't respond to those negative strokes, throw them out of your sphere; better still, walk away from any such antipathetic, dark, petty people. If you are good, and you know that you are, eventually you will shine through. Your creativity is your strength and you hold on to it, despite all odds.

Sounds prescriptive. Maybe.....

Create some space for emotions: Dil Dharakne Do

         Let the heart beat! Medically speaking, that's an involuntary action and one can neither prevent it nor cause it to happen! It will beat, regardless of one's intentions, because it is designed to do so! But such is the pace of life, such are the misplaced priorities, so deep rooted are certain prejudices and gender biases and so busy is one playing out assigned social roles, that it's the heart which has stopped beating and been relegated to mechanical functioning! Emotionally speaking, it has no function to perform! Hence the prayer, dil dharakne do! Nice theme and Zoya Akhtar does a good job with Dil Dharakne Do in weaving an entertaining saga on love at different stages of life.  

             Essentially it's about the swish set, the super rich and good looking Mehras, played by Anil Kapoor and Shefali Shah who are successfully orchestrating the image of a happily married couple leading an enviable social life but are actually the architects of a dysfunctional family! It is difficult to imagine that they were once young and romantic enough to elope and get married! The journey of life gives them two great kids, lots of wealth, even more stress but in the process love flies out of the expensive French windows! He goes about with his business and she dresses up to socialise with equally disenchanted lady friends! Many a sigh in the audiences and I knew there was a connect! 

         The Mehras embark on a cruise to celebrate their 30th, with their swashbuckling friend circle in the Bosphorus, covering Turkey and Greece, spending close to 8000 euros per couple. But on that dream cruise, with expensive crockery and cutlery and besides all the grease paint, Louis Vuittons and Cartiers, there is a lot of sadness! 

              The Mehra's daughter is unhappily married and the son just doesn't match up to the high expectations of the father. That he's mamma's boy goes without saying. But the same indulgent Mamma has no empathy for her miserable daughter, caught in a love less marriage, and thinks that marital discord should be fixed by having babies! She connives with her husband to trick her son into a marriage of convenience and that's about the only time one realises how similar the husband n wife are! 

         Priyanka and Ranveer Singh have great "chemistry" as siblings and Rahul Bose is every successful woman's nightmare of a husband! He bombastically gives himself the credit for allowing wifey Priyanka, who is anyway a marginalised member of the Mehra family, to pursue her career! And I thought, these were stupid, middle class issues! Male hegemony, women struggling to find their space, selling their jewellery to fund their careers, having no claim on parental business after marriage; in fact being so irrelevant as to not even find one's name in the RSVP credit for the 30th anniversary card of the parents. At the end of the day women get a raw deal, isn't it, whatever class they belong to! 

The cruise is fun! There's dance, there's drama, there's hypocrisy, theres melancholy, there's deceit, there's conceit, you name it, it's all there! And you have some great actors making all these emotions come alive on the screen, including the sutradhar Pluto! The story is actually his narrative, at least his perception of what his family is all about! Some of his " soliloquies"are quite entertaining! 

For the first time, I found Ranveer actually good! He looks effortlessly rich, dapper yet humane and totally "vela" and steals the thunder from Priyanka and others in some critical scenes. For once, he doesn't look like a Tangewala/rickshawala. His romance with Anoushka is a bit too quick to develop, therefore incredible, but maybe I am old fashioned! 

At the end of the day the movie belongs to Shefali Shah and Anil Kapoor, and in that order! Shefali acts the part of a pretentious socialite, with a hollow where her heart used to be, with great finesse! Being shot in Turkey and having Anoushka as a dancer in the film I half expected there to be a belly dance number, but whatever is the dance form Anoushka practices, it was damn good! Farhan enters the scene after intermission and that's a flaw! He brings the necessary gravitas and realism to the film and should have asked real life sis for more! Any way the audience felt cheated with so little of him! Going by the flavour of the season,maybe Dil Dharakne Do Returns will sort this flaw out! Go enjoy the movie!

Tanu Weds Manu Returns

Whoever would have thought a sequel can be made of a romance that had the typical "and they lived happily ever after" ending?  Why spoil that feel-good factor of a movie that united two very real but diametrically opposite characters? But Anand Rai thinks there's life beyond fairy tale endings and that such a blessed life can actually crack and crumble after four years of living together under the same roof as husband and wife! In our generation it was called the seven year itch, but what with life on the fast track, instant-everything, realtime problems instantly communicated to the world through the www.com route, with instant solutions  it is now reduced to a four year itch, if not less! Whatever happened to motherly advise: " give it time, beta, it will sort itself out"!  It's not possible anymore because before you know it you have travelled so far away from each other that even you believe there's no turning back! At least in Tanu Weds Manu Returns the love story has grown so sour that the couple land up before an asylum Board where the husband is found to be loony and hence incarcerated in the asylum! 

Tanu returns home to small town Kanpur and before you can say Jack Robinson, she is back to being her old self! Old flames emerge from their moth-balled packaging and she thinks nothing about hugging the rickshaw wallah or hunting out the ex, the Dulha who almost got her in the part 1! It's rollicking fun for her, bathing towel and Vodka bottles intact! A new male interest is easily available, in the form of a tenant who refuses to vacate her room and soon becomes her Mobike escort! The husband,  once out of the asylum, returns to Delhi to express his hatred for her. But while busy lamenting and indulging in self-pity, and adding some more nodes to his "gingerliness" he ends up falling in love with her look alike,  Datto! 

The story moves beautifully, interspersed with great dialogues and acting craft displayed by almost everyone; even those who had two bit roles! Madhavan, Dobriyal, Shergill are all brilliant as is Swara! Kangana as Tanu and Kangana as Datto are two opposite ends of the spectrum! But this beautiful lady portrays both the characters with such ease and conviction, you are left wondering how she does it! The Haryanvi is authentic;  the dress sense, mannerism, buck teeth- all aid in building up the Jaat persona! Her pixie cut and swagger is so typical of Sports Quota types, (who often times get typecast as members of LGBT community) that you are caught gaping at the screen, mouth open and head shaking in disbelief! 

Rarely has a movie been made which starts with a laugh riot and continues almost unabated till the end. The opening scene is probably the best comic scene in recent times; the asylum haranguing match between the husband and wife has you falling off the seats, while one part of you is noticing the super glam thinness and Chantilly lace sari of Kangana! Then you have the Haryanvi Datto, whose diction is difficult to follow but whose ferocity and independence capture your heart as few characters have in recent memory! The Haryanvi bride's collared shirt and dark lipstick make the film real and add to the film's small town rustic charm! In the end it's a strange love story, which falters a bit towards the middle, but so impactful is the overall narrative, that small lapses can be forgiven and forgotten! 

The music is great and Banno's swagger is actually sexy!  The English song, with attempted American accent, sung probably in Raag Bhairavi is fascinating! Kangana brings a lot of emotion in her roles and this is out and out her movie! I don't know how to say this, without sounding like a smitten teenager, but I am sticking my neck out to say she is probably the best female actor Hindi film screen has ever had! Hats off Kangana, way to go baby! 

Piku: relationships redefined

                                       Piku: relationships redefined

                A rare weekend! Two days, two movies! Bombay Velvet and Piku. The movies, directors, actors : as different from each other as chalk and cheese! Bombay Velvet is Mumbai trying to be Chicago and getting nowhere! Piku tries nothing, except being real and takes you on an almost surreal journey!             

                Piku, a pretty, bong girl, kohl lined eyes and black bindi, comes from CR Park where she resides with her retired father, played by Amitabh. Deepika as Piku is the quintessential aggressive daughter of a cantankerous, obsessive Bengali father and she steals your heart, virtually from the word go! It is a realistic portrayal of an urbane, professional middle class girl who is exasperated and irritable enough to resent her father's excessive control on her life, but loving and caring enough to measure his BP on an hourly basis and make calls to the family doctor to seek medical advice on his temperature showing a rising trend, peaking at 98.8 degrees Fahrenheit! All this in the middle of a date! Repeatedly! Her daily harangues with the taxi service guys are a direct result of her irritation over the unidirectional conversations with her hypochondriac father! His preoccupation with his bowel movement is actually the central theme of the movie and only Soojit Sircar could have pulled it off! But isn't he the master of unusual themes like sperm donation and now, potty! He must really be potty! 

                Piku's love for her fussy, obstinate and obsessive father knows no boundaries! She takes him to Kolkata from Delhi by road, with the Jugad commode tied on the overhead carrier! I don't know many girls who would do this for their fathers, but she is an exceptionally devoted daughter! She screams and frets, indulges in regular diatribes with him, but does what he wants! Irrfan as the cab service owner/ substitute driver provides a perfect balance to the highly strung and hyper father- daughter duo! There is Mausmi masi, who is thrice married and wouldn't mind a fourth go at it, but loves her loony Jija, despite blaming him, in a light hearted way for her sister's early demise! What follows is a crazy journey till the barmy cuckoos land in Kolkata! Irrfan takes over the film at this stage, where, without batting an eyelid, he delivers a lecdem on the merits of the Indian style potty over the western one! The movie has an unexpected ending, but there really was no solution to the situation other than what Soojit Sircar crafts, so brilliantly! 

                 The commode reminded me of my Nani's contraption from the 1970s. The acting is superb. Amitabh as a cantankerous Bengali is very convincing and natural in the act (must be a result of 45 years of training in the art by another Bengali at home-- wink, wink). But it is Deepika who takes the cake. She acts effortlessly and is clearly symbolic of the modern Indian girl, "needing" a man in her life but doing her duty towards an ailing father, even though the ailment is mostly imaginary and restricted to the mind or the bowels! I loved Irrfan for various reasons- Not least because his character, Chowdhary hails from Hardoi! Sandila, to be precise! This movie defines relationships in modern times and touches your heart in so many ways, that my eyes were moist! All through the film!

Bombay Velvet: bah!

Bombay Velvet: bah! 

I told my sis-in-law I won't comment upon Bombay Velvet, because it really amounts to double jeopardy. Watching a soul-less, inconsistent story line and then reviewing it! But in a few lines I have to say, I am disappointed! Anurag Kashyap's Gangs of Wasseypur left an indelible mark on the Hindi cinema audiences. But this new Hollywood style, street children growing up wanting to become richie rich and easily becoming criminalised, fails to make sense or touch or move you in any way.

Ranbir Kapoor in a perverse way, loves getting bashed up in a boxing ring, Anoushka is forever at the Mike, singing some meaningless lyrics, barring a good rendition of retro Jaata kahan hai Diwane...... All characters are flat, storyline is unclear, editing is poor! Such dark movies have an inbuilt craftiness to make you flip sides in favour of the villain, particularly when the chief protagonist is a dark anti-hero! At least you sigh when he falls and a bit of your heart goes out to him! Not here! So flat is the characterisation!

So far as Karan Johar goes I'd rather he did Coffee style shows than pretend to be a villain! Or make movies! He's about as scary as a friendly neighbour in the movie! Siddharth Basu can go back to being a Quiz Master! What a waste of a perfect Saturday! Bah.

Ashoka : Royal Insecurities

                 Chakravarty Samrat Ashoka : an engaging enough serial, despite beginning to drag a bit. The two characters of Sushim and Ashoka, in their early adulthood are seen sparring in a decathlon style competition. The one who wins, will be declared the heir apparent to the throne of Magadha. Some interesting thoughts and themes criss cross the current narrative. Issues of Cast, lower cast in particular, such as "Tuchh Prani" Ashoka's, royal lineage, kinship, meritocracy, sense of entitlement, intrigue, conceit etc are all interwoven cleverly, as is the case in most historical dramas. 

                 But the one theme that binds me to the story is the one about Insecurity. So, Helena, the White skinned Macedonian, daughter of Seleucus Necator, is insecure about almost everything in life. Consequently, she spends her time scheming away against the State! Her son Justin's love-interest is Rani Noor, daughter of the Persian, Mir Khurasan, married to Bindusar! She is understandably insecure about her illicit relationship with Justin, who is about to enter into a matrimonial alliance with Agnishikha, while battling the greater insecurity about the claim of her son Siyamak to the throne of Magadha. The Maharani, Charumitra, is so insecure that she practices black magic to keep her tormenting demons at bay! 

                   There are several such insecure characters in the serial, but the one that takes the cake is Sushim's! The one character who really has no reason to be insecure, is actually the most insecure! He is insecure because of a deep realisation about his own inadequacies. The eldest son of King Bindusar, the son of Maharani Charumitra, he is actually accomplished, hard working, talented and a champion, twice over! Qualities that are admired even by his otherwise critical kid brother Siyamak! There is romance blooming for him in the shape of an aptly named Princess, Ahankara! He could win the championship on his own steam, but resorts to dubious methods to cheat and craft a victory for himself! 

                    Why does he do that? Why, because he is plagued by insecurity; lacks self-confidence, imagines himself to be in danger of loosing to "Tuchh Prani" Ashoka, is vulnerable, susceptible to flattery, spends all his time trying to anticipate and plan for slighting his competitors rather than building on his own competencies, suffers from low self esteem and self doubt and will stoop to any depths to realise his ambitions! This all pervasive flaw is his undoing and he emerges as a ruthless, cruel and self serving creep. He fritters away his natural advantage of succeeding to the throne by virtue of the Law of Primogeniture, largely because of his cheap conduct and arrogant behaviour! Whereas Ashoka, despite being a total stranger to Pataliputra, slighted by the Oligarchs and the ruling elite, retains his composure & confidence, is compassionate & brave, has a never-say-die attitude and keeps rising every time he is made to fall by his crafty opponent! 

                     The competition is still not over, but Ashoka is already the winner!

Broken horses

Broken Horses: Bromance

Broken Horses: a film by a versatile Indian film maker Vidhu Vinod Chopra has nothing Indian about it, except the name of the Director. So far as Hollywood goes, it lacks the sleekness of Hollywood films of the same genre. It is a very flat story,about a slow boy, who is unable to spell even his name correctly, and who, after the murder of his father, is tricked into becoming a killer, while his musically inclined younger brother goes to study music in New York. Then the younger brother comes back, only to realise he has kind of failed in his duty towards his brother and sets about extricating him from the mess! 

A nice enough story! Butt the problem with the movie is that it moves without any sub plots to add depth and dimension to the story, no twists and turns, no surprises either. Just a very dark story, told in a very languid way! For a crime drama, Mafia based movie, it actually lacks energy! So much so that at times it becomes difficult to cut through the slow paced narrative and hold on! The film does come together in the last quarter and the climax is well shot!  The acting by all all the actors is good, although the Chief Gangster, played by Vincent D' Onofrio looks so mild he wouldn't scare my neighbour'so 3 year old grand daughter, leave alone send a chill down audiences' spine!  The cinematography is good and the landscape on the rugged American border with Mexico, adds to the goriness of the tale and the love between the brothers is to die for! Sentimental stuff! And that, by the way, was the India and the wow factor of the movie!

All said and done, as an attempt by an acclaimed Indian film maker to step out of his comfort zone, go and make a film in Hollywood, it is an effort worth applauding!

P- tutes

                                     P-tutes

                 The entire controversy on the P word is contrived & misdirected and therefore  unnecessary!  Even the original "P"word with an "O"instead of an "e"is hardly in use and a more respectful terminology has been identified as a replacement and is in vogue for long now.That the original P word is abusive,insensitive, passe, politically incorrect, defies dignity of labour for the alleged oldest profession in the world, etc is undisputed! But the new coinage, with an "e" instead of the archaic use of "o" is simply brilliant! Mind you, only as an invention!  

             However, the target for whom the word was coined has been put to much discomfiture. One has heard many accusations against the craftsman who coined  the word in the last few days. One has also heard the target of the P word, raving and ranting against Lutyen's Delhi type of journalists and how he is above them and not of their ilk. And declaring that he needs to be treated differentially because, unlike the Lutyens Delhi types, he's not available to the highest bidder !  What, by the way, is the " Lutyens Delhi type" a description often used by this demagogue from outside the national  capital region to taunt his competitors by assuming a moral, intellectual and ethical high ground? How is the Delhi media any worse than Mumbai or Jaipur or Chennai media? Or how does one individual from Mumbai acquire the authority to club every journalist with that pejorative term "Lutyens Delhi type"? I think he has a huge Delhi complex and wants a slice of that cake, with all its lovely, tempting icings! Maybe someone should oblige him! BTW, why have the Lutyens Delhi Journalists chosen not to challenge this innuendo? The Nation wants to know NOW....

WAGS lost us the CWC Semis?

WAGS lost us the CWC Semis? 


               Indian cricketers are either Demi -Gods or devils incarnate ! We worship them or we burn their effigies! One of my earliest memories of this dark side of cricket is when Ajit Wadekar's boys had to face public ire on return from a disastrous tour of England in mid-70s. I think it was in Indore that a huge cricket bat statue was blackened by tar by frustrated and violent fans! In more recent memory we have seen Mohammad Kaif's house being vandalised as also Captain Dhoni's! 
             
             And then there have always been cross currents of blaming the WAGS for the misfortunes of poor cricketers! Implying thereby, that these guys are great players and would have put up a sterling performance but for these distracting females! They are given offensive epithets like Manhoos, Dayan, Witches, B*****s and the like! The more charitable ones use the analogy of Tapasvi rishis and Apsaras! But the fact is that women bear the brunt for the poor performance of players, great or ordinary! If, perchance a WAG is a film star, the cacophony of blame being heaped against her is deafening! My guess, the guys are jealous that such a glamorous and successful lass is not theirs, but the player's! The girls are jealous because she got Him and not they!!! 

             Having recovered sufficiently from the devastation of losing in the semis, I am happy, 'coz now I can watch the Finals with full fun and frolic, without that sickening, tense, gnawing grip on my gut when India is playing! Whosoever wins, Sannu ? 

              But seriously, Let's learn to lose a game of Cricket without thinking that it's The Deluge! That the world has come to an end and we need to get on to our Noah's Ark for survival, with a cricket bat, couple of cricket balls and three stumps! Minus, of course, the current Indian team!

NH10

                   Why do multiplex audiences watch movies? More particularly, why do I watch movies? To unwind, de-stress and relax! Not necessarily for a good laugh! But to watch a good story being told! Or, to borrow Vidya Balan's phraseology, for 3 things: Entertainment, Entertainment and of course, Entertainment ! I headed to the nearest multiplex today, after a long spell of flu-enforced home entertainment, to see NH 10, thinking it was about women's safety and status in a dichotomous India, with all its urban-rural and other divides! And after 15 minutes into it, I knew I had made a mistake! 

                  It's a dark-dark film, with not a moment's respite! One has seen many Hollywood movies of the same genre, highway encounters, gory tails of adventure, blood and grime! But this was too much to handle! Anoushka, the modern "English type" girl from Delhi, and Neil, the hubby who lets her drive alone at night on highways, are on a well-earned holiday when they get embroiled in an honour killing in the shrub lands of Haryana. There is no law and obviously no law-enforcement. "Jahan tharey Gurgaon ka akhiri Mall howey, Wahan democracy Khatam ho Jawey" or something to that effect, say the Goondas, to justify their lawlessness! . Anoushka and Neil run for their lives; on foot, in jeep, in SUV and are hounded by the killers all through the night! Police chowki Constable and the I/C are, of course cohorts of the Family, Jati, Gotra leaders, but, in a grotesque scene, the Chowki I/C has to lose an eye to a combative Anushka, before he realises what he has on his hands! 

                An edgy drama, the movie is well directed, if you care for this kind of cinema. Anoushka has done well, both as a producer and as an actor! But the last half of the movie is unbelievable! Where does the city-slicker find the courage to do what she does? " Jo karna tha, so kar diya" ! I kept waiting for some positive twist to the tale, but there was virtually none! Even Deepti Nawal is cut in the same mould as the rest of the clan in the Jati/ Gotra bullshit! What bothered me was the hopelessness of the struggle, as even the young boys are being groomed with the same 18th century mindset and cultural conditioning! It's repugnant, grotesque, morbid.... 

                You may call it realistic cinema, ultra realistic even, if you please! To me it was macabre, with nothing to reduce the heightening stress, from one frame to the next! Too many stupid, split-second decisions, without a thought for the consequences and the dangers kept mounting. As a result, I was left asking myself some questions all through the movie. Why does Neil go after the goondas when he is on his way to a great holiday; has a pretty, young wife with him in an expensive SUV? Why doesn't Anoushka stay in the car when the hubby goes off, trying to find the goondas to scare them a bit? How come the one house she finds shelter in, happens to belong to the perpetrators of the heinous crime? The one jeep -load of rural people who realise that "bechari ladki kasht me deekhey hai" , do nothing to help her? Maybe that's what life is and maybe that's what the director is trying to say: good people must do more than offer lip-sympathy! But hey, it doesn't make sense. Because the Good Couple does something and what does that lead them into ? I accept that it's a realistic portrayal of what goes on, but it was just too much to stomach! I sat through with a pounding headache and heightened palpitation, just to see what happens in The End!

Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest

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Dumb, dumber, dumbest

August 13, 2013 at 12:08am

A lot of people are of the view and rightly so, that we get what we deserve.  Case in point is the quality and content of the 24x7 News Channels. It’s TRPs that tell the media barons that us dumb Indians want entertainment of the most bizarre kind.  I believe TRP is measured through a very constrictive process, in a limited catchment area. If memory serves me right it is just a few thousand ( 6000 +) households across the country who have been provided with devices that count what these people are watching and for how long. By inference it is concluded that this is what they WANT to watch! How did these 6000 or even 60000 people come to decide what the rest of the Indians want to watch? Why do media houses care so much for TRP based decisions on content and quality, when they for one know how shallow this system is? Surely there’s a more intelligent and better informed way to generate revenues.

While there can be no doubt that everyone wants entertainment, it is no body's case that 24x7 news channels are in the business of entertaining people. Their business is to INFORM the public about matters of public interest. That’s serious business. I am sure that if the news channels were to raise their monthly charges, the quality of news will improve, as also the quality of viewership. Also, why should news channels be clubbed with the "bouquet" of entertainment channels? Is there a difference between Saas-bahu sagas and mandir-masjid-sand-mafia issues or not? Entertainment channels dedicated to saas-bahu sagas or whatever genre is the current flavour of the day, can remain in the
space they occupy and entertain their committed clientele. I have nothing against them. As one friend put it long back, these Saas Bahu serials are a great safety valve to the stay-at-home moms/ homemakers and but fror them we might have huge vagrancy in this fast evolving society. Having said that, the media moghuls should have some pity on the people who want real news, maybe with some views.....

After all, these 24x7 news channels have been in the public space for far too long to now start looking more maturely at themselves, respect the intelligence of their current and potential viewers and stop imposing a lop-sided, ludicrous and shallow interpretation of events on the viewership.  I know too many people who have given up their decades’ long habit and stopped watching news, as it’s just not worth it. This dumbing-down of all stakeholders has to stop and the sooner it happens, the better it will be for our democracy.  Because they have a “time slot” of 24 hrs to fill up, instead of the good-old 30 minutes that we had in our growing years, 24x7 news channels have by definition spread their content horizontally and thinly to cover as many topics as they can. In-depth, penetrative and vertical examination of different cross-sections and dimensions of newsworthy events is given a go-by. What is paraded as investigative reporting or in-depth analysis, is at best one side of the story and because you need to be seen as “Breaking News” you don’t care how lop-sided it is and what consequences it can have. It’s like carpet-bombing, cover the whole damn space, sab kuchh tabah kar do, culprits ke lag gaya to lag gaya, nahin to koyi baat nahi. We don’t need carpet-bombing, that’s oh so World War II vintage. What we need is precision-bombing, please.

 As truth is invariably the biggest casualty in this setup, the 24x7 news channels would be doing yeoman’s service to the nation by self-regulation and moderation in their reportage, instead of Breaking News all the time in an attempt to increase their TRPs. How can the same item amount to Breaking News at 12 noon and then again at 6 PM or even 9 PM? if you broke news at 12 noon, surely its dead news at 9 PM?  I mean you could still report it without having the OCD of calling it Breaking News through the day! Is there a shelf-life for the term Breaking News in a given context or it’s like a perennial river running its course through the day? And pray, enlighten me, why are experts called on talk shows when the anchors have no intention to allow them to speak? Or is that why they are called, to be used as punching bags, till one runs out of steam and retires, only to rise again and play out the same monologous, yet chaotic and cacophonous, fish-market style assault on viewership.

 Thank God for small mercies, I'd rather wait till the next morning to get my news from some excellent newspapers and magazines. Although the contagion of 24x7 news channels is fast spreading to the century old print media as well.

Btw, the impact of the high decibel level shrieking by the anchors and guests on 24x7 news channels, on the increasing incidence of stress, anxiety and psychosomatic disorders in society also needs to be measured, even if it is done in a limited catchment area, similar to the TRP system. 

Lucknow: of food and ruins

End of December, I Spent three exciting days at Lucknow with my sis and had such a rush of adrenalin doing simple things, as they used to be done during our growing years. Saw old, forgotten landmarks and spent a great afternoon at The Residency ruins. The cannon and bullet marks on the face of the buildings, the remnants of the red burnt brick buildings, etched the 1857 scenario before my eyes, as if I had been there in flesh and blood during the  heat and dust of that terrible summer of 1857! Buying some nibblies to munch on the lawns of the Residency proved wasteful, as the alert caretakers did not allow any eatables to be taken inside. Swacch Bharat campaign? Whatever may have been the motivation, I was impressed with the way the Residency is able to stand on its doddering feet! The Museum set up inside, was disappointing, as it has a very poor representation of history and even poorer art work! Some day, maybe the real art of Awadh will be rediscovered and restored, to be put up for public display, recapturing the lost grandeur that it obviously had back then! Kaiser Bagh baradari and Imambaras continue to fascinate, but just a drive-past had to suffice as there wasn't that much time available at our disposal.

What is Lucknow without its fine Awadhi cuisine? So beginning with Makkhan  malai after the morning walk,topped with Bun-Makkhan and chai from Sharma ji at Hazrat Gunj, Galauti  kebabs from Dastarkhan for lunch, Chaat at Royal Cafe for tea,  the high point of the day was the absolutely stunning variety of steaming hot halwas at Moti Mahal, again in Hazratgunj! Chhuarey and coconut ka halwa was my favourite, while some others in the family freaked out on Badaam ka Halwa! 

The mornings were lazy! Several cups of tea later and urging each other to get ready for the day-" pehley aap, pehley aap" -in true Lucknowi tradition, the clan would only be ready well past noon! The extremely competent cook at home, who had already treated us to deliciously flavoured mattar ke paranthe to accompany Samosas and jalebis for breakfast, was ready with Awadhi Biryani for lunch, with chicken korma! And obviously saying "no" is never an option in the Awadhi Tahzeeb! Not that I wanted to, but considering....... I  don't think I have eaten so much food in so short a period, as during this short break! 

I am sure we gained a couple of kgs of weight while sampling the delights of Lucknow! And guess what, being the peak of winters with temperatures at 8 degrees Celsius, there was no temptation to go shopping for chikankari textiles, so all the indulgences were restricted to gastronomical types. While the offspring left after the break, complaining of bulging waist lines,  I for one, am so ready for another trip to Lucknow. Ameenabad/Kaiserbagh kulfi beckons. And so does chikankari! 

Tevar- why oh why?

Tevar= bakwas!
Having got the verdict out of the way there are many WHYs related to this trash. Here goes:
Why is Boney Kapoor still making films?
Why couldn't he find a better theme for his talented son?
Why does Sonakshi Sinha/ her character choose to dance in such a hideous manner, on a disco style music, with gori phirangs wearing boots, at a temple in Mathura, that only the local goonda is attracted to her? 
Why does the SP of a big district in UP live in a gali-mohalla, without the ubiquitous 4+1 ki 24x7 guard?
Why does the SP's wife cook her own food? Whatever happened to the battery of servants/ attendants?
Why does Arjun choose to go back to Mathura, to pick up a piece of paper when he had just ridden through hell to get out of there?
Why does the duo go around sight-seeing in Agra, knowing fully well that they are being hounded by goondas? Hello, why is there no attempt to attribute a reasonable IQ to these two protagonists?
Why is Sonakshi so dumb, as to not rush for her flight and use ISD/ Skype/FT/WA to profess her love for Arjun later, once safely out of India?
Why doesn't she plan to get Arjun a Green Card through the good offices of her NRI Chachu?
Why do talented actors like Deepti Naval, Raj Babbar waste themselves on such mindless movies? Is it because they are from the 1980s and this film is oh so reminiscent of 1980s! Ugh
Why is Manoj Bajpayee so utterly despicable in the film?
Why is it always North India and the Hindi bad-lands that are picked up as the back-drop for such trashy themes?
Why is Bollywood so fixated on Holi and gulal to weave themes of lusty, grimy, bloody and unending chases, replete with primitive armoury of Kattas, Rampuris, Talwars etc.?
AND
Why did the Director not build on the one lovable sub-plot of the movie: the brother-sister relationship, so ably portrayed by the spunky sister? That stole my heart, for sure!
AND FINALLY,
WHY is Arjun Kapoor so cute?????

PS:
Why did I go to see the film? Having gone there, why did I not get up and leave when I realised what trash I was being subjected to! My mood was so bad at the demise of a perfect Saturday evening that I fought with the Food Court guy for not topping up my old card and insisting I pay for a new one! Walked out in a huff with a stunned Mausi, at the injustice of the demand- hungry and frustrated! Felt very close to Manoj Bajpayee just then .....

PK- Aliens in love

PK falls just a tiny bit short of expectations because of Raju Hirani! The same film made by any other director would have been called Excellent, but with Raju Hirani, there are always high expectations. That little irritant out of the way, about Raju Hirani and expectations, I would say PK is not a bad film. An alien, who decidedly looks like us homo-sapiens on planet Earth, lands in Mandawa, Rajasthan on a Research Project, only to be robbed of his sole possession, his remote control which would fetch him his ferry for a ride back home! The creature with big, almost-Vulcan style ears learns to survive on planet earth, buying food, getting clothes from "dancing cars" and even learning to speak! Unfortunately he can't find his remote and is led up the garden path by believers and non-believers alike to seek the help of Bhagwan for finding his remote! What follows is really a well depicted quest for God and Godliness, but the Alien finds Him not! It's the naked power of electronic media, intertwined with some telling satirical content, which provides him the solution, but for that you have to see the film! 

The film is clearly an allegory! The Alien is a new born baby, who comes to earth with nothing on his slate, (typified by the space ship landing on a barren desert) except his connection to his Maker ( the remote) and while meandering through the maze of civilization, culture, language, profession, love, religion, confusion et al, he continues his search for that missing link, that connection which he knows he will need again to return to God ! But which has been held captive by Godmen, the managers of God Inc, who prevent direct access between the Maker and His creations! It's the journey of a soul with all its manifestations, on earth, trying to make sense out of the all pervading senselessness, which allows for so much rubbish in its preoccupation with form, rather than substance! I Loved the clever imagery on Gandhi, who is relevant on a currency note but an irrelevant piece of trash, in a mindless society. The satire on police lockups, peeing in public and in numerous other small ways, makes the story flow smoothly.. 

Amir Khan is a great actor and he proves it yet again, but I wonder how he gets the wrinkle free skin at age 50! Well I know all about Botox and stuff like that, but really, it's too much! The Six pack abs and biceps bursting out of the short shirt sleeves, throw him ten-fifteen years back, age-wise. Furthermore, he does justice to his role, looking suitably alien with his gait and expressions! Anushka Sharma is not a great looker, but the long legs make up for a lost-case face, particularly after the reported lip-job! Her hideous wig contributes nothing to her appearance, although I didn't find her lacking in the acting department, and isn't that what films are all about? The Godman, Saurabh Shukla is amazingly convincing and succinctly brings out the ludicrous in the business of religion as well as the best explanation for the way things are. Sanju baba is adorable in the short cameo that he plays. 

By the way Aliens are more intelligent than Indian women and Paki men, for the latter believe that letters without specific salutation by their given names or addresses are meant for them, while the former sees through the folly of this interpretation! Hurray to Alien IQ! Hurray to Homo Sapiens, who teach an Intelligent Alien to fall in love and learn the Art of Lying. Hurray to India, for such a movie can only be made in India, without major disruptions to peace and harmony. Hurray to the message from the film: find your own connection to God, without the need for middlemen. Hurray to Bollywood.