Lothario

                                                                Lothario

                                      Life continues to teach lessons everyday! I always thought that I was long past being judgmental. But sitting down for a sundowner with my daughter last week in Geneva, I was distracted by this noisy, boisterous, boastful young and strikingly good looking guy at the next table, having his own sundowner with his two lady friends. To begin with I ignored his loud intrusions into the calm of the evening, but soon it became difficult to do so, particularly as he was indulging in narratives, which the conservative mother in me didn't want to hear with my daughter in attendance! So I started cribbing in whispers. My wise young daughter objected gently: "Ma let him be, he's chilling with his friends". But I was visibly unimpressed and getting increasingly irritated. So I kept up my diatribe, albeit discreetly and in whispers, against this boastful Lothario. To the extent that HE became central to our conversation, and I forgot all about my evening out with a tired off-spring! 
                                   Then I got up to fetch some nibblies from the counter and as I returned I noticed that the table next to ours had been vacated and my daughter looked very uncomfortable in her seat. "Ma you are going to feel very bad with yourself in a second", she breathed. At my quizzical expression, she just pointed to the tram-station behind us, where the departing trio was waiting. One of them was in a wheelchair, paralyzed waist downwards, skillfully, almost joyously and playfully, maneuvering the tram-station. You can guess the gender of the person in the wheel-chair but I for one felt suddenly drained at that moment, as if something had just slipped out of my soul! People's situations, circumstances in life are so different from what is painted.....and you can be so WRONG in judging them!

Dharma

                                                               DHARMA

                           Watching Mahabharat these days on TV. To the allegation that Yudhishthir committed the biggest act of "adharma" by placing Draupadi as a bet during the game of Dyut, Krishna replies: It is not just Yudhishthir who had a misplaced sense of dharma, in abiding by the commitments he had entered into with Duryodhan. Everyone in the Sabha was adharmi because of their false sense of dharma, ie Bhishma would not resist Dushasan's or Duryodhan's cavalier conduct towards Draupadi because he had taken the vow to protect Hastinapur and would do nothing to negate that. Krishna says that there is something wrong with Dharma if it makes you blind to the basic tenets of humanity. Pledges ( Pratigya ), vows ( Pran) and commitments ( Vachan ) are like the branches to the tree of Dharma, but the root of Dharma is kindness ( Karuna) . If that is not protected, then the very Dharma is in danger of extinction. And, Krishna continues, the time to redefine Dharma has come... Yada Yada Hi Dharmasya Glanirva Bhavathi Bharatha, Abhyuthanam Adharmaysya Tadatmanam Srijami Aham'. I think we are in similar times now, even worse, and time to redefine a lot of things has come. Oh Krishna where are you....?

                           Again, visualising the impending disaster that would befall her family in the event of war, Draupadi dithers before Krishna and finally denounces war, seeking protection for her progeny. Even willing to bury her humiliation in the face of imminent death and destruction, pre-eminently of her sons, she is a picture of anguish and wants to know what will be the consequence of the impending war! Krishna replies: what can possibly be the consequence of war, except death and destruction?  Only time will unravel the designs of the Almighty in thrusting this war on Aryavrat! But Draupadi must live in the present, he says! For, the uncertainty of the future will destroy the joys of the present, while prospects of joys in future will not alleviate the sufferings in the present. Hence live in the present and leave the future to the designs of the Creator, for only He has control over it and no purpose would be served by trying to decode it! He tells Draupadi to let the war be fought as the war is for a greater purpose, that is for establishment of Dharma and destruction of Adharma. War is not the Karatavya but the Sankalp of the righteous, to destroy the last vestiges of Adharma! 

                            Amen! I want my Krishna again. Oh Krishna where are you? 

Vows

               
 When you tie that knot you tie your lives together, inextricably and totally, in every sense of the word! Despite being dead earnest about the vows you take, you can't visualise the ways in which they are going to be tested in life! "I will be by your side, as your courage and strength", you vow as a young bride with stars in your eyes and a dreamy future panning out before you! You see Love and Romance. You see your  childhood game, Playing House, becoming a reality! Kids arriving! But Hospitals? Nooooooo, you don't know they exist in your charmed life, except perhaps the maternity ward! But one day you realise, you have to do even that! Be his courage and strength, when your own is doubtful! And you will probably be alone when you do that. The kid has flown the nest, the siblings have their own worries, the parents are gone and you sit in the hospital wondering, where did this come from?