Ladies Sangeet

Ladies Sangeet

                               Attending pre-wedding celebrations in the last few days and continuing with my observations from the last few wedding seasons, I can't help but comment on the changing mores of Sangeet and Mehndi ceremonies of North Indian weddings.

                               A ladies Sangeet ceremony in the yesteryears was meant to kick-start the wedding celebrations. The Dadi's, Nani's, Bua's Chachi's, Mausi's, Mami's and assorted cousins and friends would gather in the courtyard, with minimum preparations, even more minimalistic attention to their saris and jewellery and totally un-selfconscious of their 10 year old Banarsis. They would play the dholak, harmonium and Manjira to sing some Devi ke bhajans, move on to Banna-Banni or Suhag based folk songs and of course, throw in the ubiquitous Bollywood numbers of the variety of “Tu chhat pe aa ja goriye jind meriye” or “Nazar laagi raja tohrey bangle pe”! Some veteran -of-many-ladies-sangeet Bua would fish out a stained and dog-eared diary, with lyrics preserved  on it and suddenly the ladies would be infused with a new-found confidence at the mere sight of this enabling tool to make the evening a grand success. Lot of fun, jokes and leg pulling later, some talented and some not-so-talented ladies would be cajoled and coaxed into getting up and dancing. They would reluctantly do so and depending on the dominant folk culture of that area, put up  a solo or couple dance, with one of them masquerading as the male partner, replete with “pheta” or “safa”. It could be a UP or Rajasthani style folk dance, or even some semi-classical improvisation! But it was impromptu, spontaneous, unrehearsed, unprofessional, maybe even clumsy and awkward, but it was fun and participatory! Giggles would follow after each failed attempt at a “thumka”, but would soon be drowned by another round of singing and dancing. The food that was served during the revelry was a version of High Tea and consisted of the very basic Samosas, Kachoris, Chholey bhature, mithai and tea or coffee. Not to forget Campa Cola and Thumsup! And Kwality Ice Cream!

                             All through this fun filled evening, the men folk stayed away, attending to the bandobust for the groom's party at the “Janwasa”, a term which is extinct from the lexicon of wedding logistics. The bride would sit coyly in the midst of the courtyard and observe the performances slantingly and hesitatingly, with eyes that remained downcast most of the time, as if to appear to enjoy too much would be disrespectful to her parental home, or convey an unbecoming eagerness to rush to her marital home, a big no- no for the “Sanskaari” girl that she was! If she was forced to perform she would probably sing the mandatory " Khushi Khushi kar do vida, tumhari beti raj karegi" or "main to Bhool chali Babul ka des, piya ka ghar pyara lage", although she was in serious danger of being labelled "fast" if she really sang that number!

                              Cut to the present: it's NOT Ladies Sangeet anymore, but just Sangeet. This gender neutral nomenclature is more inclusive and perforce allows the men of the bride's family AND of course, of the groom and his family to participate actively in the celebrations! No longer is it the family home courtyard, but some expensive location, away from the bride's home! It's an "event" that is a product created by a few managers, just as the rest of the wedding is. It has seen engagement of a choreographer who will ensure perfection in the performance through some serious selection of songs, cut into a medley, with a minimum of 4 rehearsals preceding the event, and sound & light effects meticulously designed by the Wedding Planner! There's a running commentary by some MC and a photo montage plays out on the back screen, running you through the bride's beautiful journey of life, from the time she was born to the moment of her Roka or Sagai or whatever! Great perfection undoubtedly, but something goes missing in all this pursuit of excellence. It is too rehearsed, it has no spontaneity, it has no endearing and awkward family retainer trying to play the dholak, no singing, no folk element and really no soul! It's just noisy Bollywood all the way, with piped music or may be a DJ dishing out his version of popular numbers! It is a performing party with an audience that applauds politely at appropriate moments! It's not un-adulterated fun, it's dazzlingly impersonal and might I say, contrived?

                                Of course, at the end some die-hard dance fanatics take the floor, but only if they can tear themselves away from the Bar and the endless counters of twenty varieties of cuisine spread out before them!

                                And yes the bride is no longer oh-so-coy, she does her number with the bride groom on his knees, proposing to her in full glare of family and elders-“-kab tak jawani chhupaogi rani-----mujhse shadi karogi”! The Dadi's, Nani's, Bua's Chachi's, Mausi's, Mami's stand stupefied at this new age version of Ladies Sangeet.